Things Change
by patriettegirl
Summary: What happens when a marriage to Riley goes completely bad? Buffy and Giles in the end I promise.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Buffy is married to Riley, but not all is well.

Disclaimers: I own nothing I wish I did.

A/N: For anyone who has read any of my other stories, you know that I normally don't go this dark, so please forgive me.

I never considered myself a violent person, not until the sake of my children came into play. The emotional, mental and physical abuse I suffered because of him became too much for me to handle. Yes, I have struck him out of anger, mainly to feel something. Its been so long since I've felt anything. Marrying Riley was the biggest mistake of my life, the only good thing that has come from being with him were my twins. He never knew the twins weren't his. My guess is that he suspected. Being the slayer made it easy to heal after the beatings, you would have thought I would have fought back, and for a while I did. After a while I stopped. The beatings became to frequent for me to keep fighting all the time.

The day I caused him the most harm was the day he went after Alexander. My son started looking more like his father and less like me. One day Riley really lost it and went after him. I got in the way and took the beating. A few broken ribs later he finished and started yelling at me.

"How could you?"

"You weren't here, you had left me. What happened after you left you had no say in."

"You knew I would come back."

"No I didn't."

"And so what, you married me to hide the fact you were pregnant?"

"I didn't know, not until after."

"Does he know?"

"I've never told him or anyone, you are the first to figure it out." The blow that came after was unexpected. I was knocked backwards, I know he paused to think, but that small break was not long enough to get away. I rolled over in time to see him coming towards me. I can hear Alex and Emma crying, I can't allow my kids to be exposed to another moment of this. I mustered up enough strength as I could and I pushed him off of me with all the force I could. When he didn't get up right away, I went to find out why. The answer was evident when I stand up and walk over to him. When he fell he snapped his neck and broke it.

I'm in shock and now I'm scarred, I just killed my husband. I grab the phone and call 911 to come and help me. They stay on the line while the ambulance is on the way. I find Alex and Emma in their bedroom in the dark. I have no idea what they saw or heard. I'm just as scarred for them as I am for me at this moment. I hear the ambulance pull up. I let them in and show them where he is. The dispatcher has disconnected the call and the paramedics have tried to start resuscitating him. I know its useless, but I also know that they have to try.

"Ma'am can you tell us what happened?"

"He was attacking me, I pushed him off and he hit his head. What's wrong with him?"

"It appears he broke his neck, the coroner will make the final determination. You said he was attacking you?"

"Yes."

"Are you hurt?"

"My stomach hurts."

"Was he kicking you?"

"Yes."

"May I examine you?"

"Yes." I sit on the couch and pull up my shirt so that he may examine me. Bruises are already starting to form and the pain is subsiding. I wince however when he presses down on my stomach. I hear his partner call for a coroner and police car, I also hear Alex and Emma come down the hall to find me.

"Ma'am are you pregnant?"

"No."

"We need to get you checked out then. Your abdomen is rigid and we need to check for internal bleeding. Is there someone who can watch your children?"

"I can call someone."

"Can they meet us."

"Probably?"

"Call them, when the police arrive we are going to take you down for testing."

"OK." I pick up my phone and dial the once very familiar number, hopefully they recognize my cell phone number and answer. After 3 rings there is an answer.

"Hello?"

"Willow, it's Buffy."

"Buffy, wow I mean, wow. How are you?"

"I'm ok. Can you come down for the night and maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure, but why?"

"I can't really explain, just meet me at Medesto Medical Center's Emergency Department."

"OK, but Buffy…"

I hang up before she can ask too many questions, hopefully she gets there from Sunnydale in a relatively short time. A few more minutes pass before the police arrive to investigate and the EMT's take me and my kids down to the hospital. I'm told they will get my statement later. I know from when Tim died that they will consider it murder until self defense is proven. The hospital staff take pictures of my bruises and the cuts on my hand from where I tried to fight him off. The nurse is sympathetic to my situation, she even went so far as to get the kids a spot in the pediatric playroom while I'm being examined. During my exam the police officer who I recognized from my house has arrived to ask me questions.

I answer truthfully waiting for him to tell me I have to come with him. That never came, instead he hands me his card and says to call if I have any questions. I doubt I will but I accept the card. The doctor informs me I have to spend the night, which surprises me but I understand its necessary. As he leaves I catch a glimpse of red hair coming towards me. Within a minute I'm wrapped in a hug and have started crying.

"Buffy… why didn't you tell us. I head in the hallway the police said that Riley is dead."

"He is."

"What happened?"

"He fell and broke his neck." I look down at my bandaged hands and try harder to fight back my tears. The nurse chooses this moment to come in with the children.

"I'm sorry, but they were asking for you."

"Its fine."

"Mommy are you ok?"

"Yes, sweetie, Mommy is fine. I just have a big ouch and the doctor wants Mommy to stay here tonight. You two are going to go with Willow, who's Mommy's friend and she will take care of you." I glance to Willow and she nods her head confirming its alright for them to stay with her. Alex is very apprehensive to go with her but after some convincing he agrees to go.

After Willow leaves for the house to get the kids some clothes and take them back to the hotel; I lay back on the bed and cry. Today in self defense I killed my husband and spoke to the best friend that I haven't seen in years and revealed to her my children. And yet the only thing I want the only person I need is not here. For the past 5 years I have thought of him countless times a day and now I want him here to hug me and tell me that everything will be alright. The only person I want right now is Giles.

A/N: Hope you liked my opening, no I am not a fan of Riley and think that he is a wuss. More to come I promise.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Reviews equal faster upload time.

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

I wake to my cell phone ringing from my nightstand. I told Willow and Xander that if they needed anything that they could call me, I didn't actually think that they would. I went to L.A to talk to Wesley about some things concerning the Hellmouth. One day with him and I remember why I wasn't fond of him in the first place. I answer my phone only to realize its near midnight.

"Hello?"

"Giles, good you're awake. I mean its not good you are awake, but yeah we have a problem?"

"Willow, calm down. Now please explain to me what is going on and I shall help you."

"Buffy's in trouble." My heart sinks. Buffy has not talked to anyone since the day she married Riley. "You have to come."

"Willow, how do you know this?"

"She called me."

"When earlier. Look I'm pulling up to the hospital now, just come please I know she needs you."

"Willow, I…"

"Don't, you may not see it but I have my resolve face on, and you will come help. I'll call you later with more details. Bye Giles."

"Good bye." I hang up the phone and wonder why Willow is at the hospital and how her being there will help Buffy.

I get out of bed and throw on my jeans I had on all day, I walk to the mini bar and pull out a soda and bag of chips, if Willow is going to call me back there really is no point in going to sleep again. I turn on television its too late for the news, but one of the movie channels is airing An Affair to Remember and it takes me back to all those years ago, before Riley came back into our lives and took Buffy away.

_Buffy had come to me in tears. The day was hard enough for her. That was the day that Joyce died. Buffy blamed herself thinking that she could have done something, not even the doctors could get her to change her mind. It was a very quiet day, and then Dawn got bit. Buffy was so distraught, Dawn had lost too much blood and there was nothing anyone was able to do. In one day Buffy not only lost her mother but her sister as well. When she walked up to me in the waiting room, all I could do was wrap my arms around her and take her home with me. _

_She cried herself to sleep that first night, and the night after that and for the next week it seemed all she did was cry. Her father hadn't even come for the funeral of his ex-wife or daughter, and that hurt Buffy more than anything. She had lost the only family she had left. Now there was just her friends and myself to help take care of her and to help ease her pain. _

_About a month after the losses, we were sitting there reading. Buffy and I had developed a routine, she had come to live with me and the house on Revello was sold. Buffy placed the profits into savings and helped where she could around the house. Glory had vanished, when one of her minions overheard a conversation about the key being dead, she had no way back to her dimension and was eventually never seen again. Xander and Anya announced their engagement on Halloween and now it seemed like normal was maybe coming back to this small town. At least as normal as possible considering it was on a Hellmouth. _

_The night of Xander and Anya's engagement Buffy came to me. At first it was to hold her to remind her that she wasn't alone anymore. Then the course of the evening changed, eventually we were making love to one another. The feel of her as I was inside of her was glorious. For years I have wanted Buffy in this manner, she is the one that I love above all else and now she has given this to me. For the next week we only leave the house for food and patrol, the rest of the time we are in bed making love to one another. _

_One afternoon we are sitting around watching television, when there is knock at the door. I go to answer it expecting Xander or Willow. Instead I find Riley. I'm speechless, in fact I never expected to see him again. Buffy breaks me from our staring contest by coming towards the door. My heart sinks because I know how this shall end._

"_Giles, who is it?" She says as she approaches the door. When she sees Riley, I can tell she is just as shocked as I am. "Riley."_

"_Hello Buffy. Can I take you for a cup of coffee, and we can I don't know talk for a bit?"_

"_I don't know." She says looking at me for guidance. _

"_Go, have fun. I tell Willow where you are when she stops by." _

"_OK." I watch her grab her purse and walk out the door with Riley. I just told her to go be with him and it was probably the biggest mistake of my life._

My cell ringing again breaks me from my daydream back in time to when Buffy made her choice. My caller ID says that its Willow calling me again, this time probably to tell me that nothing is really wrong and that I shouldn't worry. I was not prepared for what was on the other end of the line.

"Giles?"

"Willow, what is the matter? You sound so frantic."

"Riley is dead."

"What?"

"Yeah I know, so far we don't know much. Buffy wouldn't tell me anything and Giles there's more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Giles, Buffy has twins."

I drop the phone. Riley is dead, but how and why, what happened. The more shocking part is that Buffy has twins. Buffy a mother. I'm sure she is a wonderful mother, but she really does need all of our help and so I will go to her and do what I can to help her. I pick up the phone and ask Willow where Buffy is.

"She's at the Medesto Medical Center. They want to keep her overnight. Tara and I are watching the twins for her, since they can't stay with her in the hospital. We are staying at a local motel. How long do you think it will be until you get here?"

"I'm leaving now." I'm literally packing what few things I brought with me as I listen to her talk. I throw my jacket on and head to the front desk, there is still a clerk working so I hand him my key card and settle my bill. I won't be coming back here tonight that much I know for sure.

"Call me when you get here, and we can meet."

"Of course." I hang up the phone and start the car. This time of day no one is on the roads and it will make my two hour drive go a lot faster. Hopefully I will be there in the morning when Buffy wakes up. She never did like sleeping in hospitals.

A/N: More mushy for you all this time? Reviews = faster posts.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: For anyone reading any of my other fics, I am sorry, but for some reason this one seems to want my attention. I shall go back to smut soon. I promise.

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

I wake up to a sore back, a taped up hand and a massive headache. The headache is because I was crying last night until I fell asleep. I haven't done that since the day Mom and Dawn died. I can tell my ribs are healing, but still going to be very sore for the next few days. Even in the semi dark state of the room, I can see that its about 5 am; and I can also tell that someone is here.

"Hello?"

"Hello Buffy." I know that voice, but it can't be him. He refuses to see me anymore.

"Giles?"

"Yes, how are you feeling?"

"I'm ok."

"Buffy, please I know you better than that. I know you can't stand being in the hospital for any length of time and I know when you are in pain. So please talk to me."

I start crying if for no other reason than this man is right he does know me so well. I glance up at him and catch his look of sadness and fear and loneliness. I caused all of that, I have hurt Giles again, something that I didn't want to do ever again. Not since the afternoon that he told me to go with Riley. I wonder if I had stayed would I be lying in this hospital bed right now, would Riley still be dead, would anything that has happened in the last six years ever happened.

"Buffy?"

"Oh Giles, I am so sorry. I just can't imagine, I wanted to talk to you every day." My tears are now worse I think I got partial sentences out that I wanted to say, but he doesn't need to hear anymore. Instead he comes over sits on the bed and just holds me while I cry. I remember one of the last times that he did this for me, it was the same night the twins were conceived.

"_It's so hard being here without them."_

"_I know Buffy, but in time you will heal and you will get past this. You will never forget they will always be in your heart. They will always be a part of you and who you have become."_

"_Thank you Giles." I say as I hug him. I pull him as close as I can wanting him to be part of me to help me with my pain. Standing in the doorway of his home, well our home now since I moved in, I can feel that something has changed. Yes we have already slept together once, but that was more to feel. I needed to feel alive still and I think he needed just to feel that I was still here. Tonight however is different, tonight I feel more. _

_I lean up and look into his eyes and there it is. I think I see love there. Of course Giles has already told me he loves me, but could it be more than a friendship kind of love. I stand on tip toes and ever so slowly and so gently kiss his lips. When he doesn't stop me I do it again, and again. Then suddenly we are kissing with such heat and intensity that all I want to feel is Giles. _

_My hands that were wrapped around his neck are now on his chest working on the buttons of his shirt. I can feel his hands on my back through my t-shirt so warm and strong holding me to him. He turns me and backs me up towards the door. When I hit it, I can feel the cold wood against my head. I feel one of his hands leave my back and then bolts the door. He doesn't want company tonight. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. Our kissing has not stopped and now I have to ask myself why I didn't see it before. _

_His hand is now against my back again and now that it is he takes both of his hands and holds me tighter to him. He really does know what he is doing. I wrap my legs tighter around him, cause I can sense we are getting ready to move. And move we are, he is carrying me to the stairs and up them to the loft. He does it with such ease I have to ask myself why I didn't notice how strong he is sooner. _

_We quickly make work of any remaining articles of clothing. We both want this, more than anything at this point I think. Heaven help anyone who tries to call or knock on the door in the next hour or so. All clothing has been shed and now he picks me up and tosses me on the bed. Oh this is going to be fun. He lays on top of me at first just nibbling my ear and kissing my neck and chest or anywhere else that he can find. I can feel him, hard and ready at any moment to just take me as his. And when he finally does I am more than ready for him. I moan in pure delight as he pounds into me like no tomorrow. _

_Once we have both come, we lay there in each others arms spent from what just happened. I drift off to sleep as he holds me close to him. I can hear the sound of his heart beating under my ear and I am happy for the first time in months since my mother and sister died. I am starting to fall in love with Giles but only time will tell how far his love for me goes._

The sound of his soothing voice breaks me from my memories. I remember it all just like it was yesterday. Now I know that we can't go back and that there is nothing that I can do to change it.

"Buffy, please tell me what is going on. When Willow called she said that Riley died."

"Willow huh, should have known, she never was good at keeping secrets." I pause and look at my hand, my wedding band is still there. Guess I should take it off. It was never really a marriage more like a prison sentence and with Riley being dead no use in pretending anymore. "Riley is dead and its all my fault."

"How could it possibly be your fault?"

"Because I killed him."

"What? How did you kill him."

"He was attacking me, I pushed him back, when he fell; his neck snapped. Giles I killed him." I start crying uncontrollably. Giles just holds me as I cry and twist my wedding band around my finger. The weight of it brining me down even more.

"It was self defense Buffy, you had no way of knowing that he was going to die. You were trying to protect yourself."

"I gave up a long time ago of protecting myself."

"What do you mean?"

"I was protecting my children."

A/N: So do I have you all hooked with the angst and drama yet? I love the reviews keep them coming please.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you for the reviews, they help the writing process.

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Poor Buffy, I can tell that she is beating herself up and the pressure that she is under is enough for any other person to have lost their mind by now. I can't believe what she is telling me. Riley was attacking her almost on the verge of killing from what she's told me. But the biggest shocker of all is that Buffy has children, not just one but two according to what she is saying and what Willow has told me.

Between her sobs Buffy has told me that the police will not be seeking charges in the case against Riley. It was declared self defense, at least that's one less thing on her mind. I'm not sure how she will deal with her own emotions, considering she has killed the father of her children. God only knows how she is handling all of this right now.

The doctor comes in to check her bruises and determines that she is a fast healer and that she is released. As Buffy is dressing, I'm not sure where she will go. I doubt she would want to go back the house that she shared and she has no family left in California anymore. As far as Willow could tell Buffy stopped talking to her dad altogether after her mothers funeral. We are the only family she really has, us and her children. As she is change I ask her where she wants to go.

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. We rented the house here. I don't want anything in except my clothes and the things for the kids. I guess I can move, I don't want the memories surrounding me all the time. Where can we go."

"You can come back to Sunnydale. I have more than enough room in my house for all of you. Willow and Xander would love to have you back. They miss their best friend."

"I couldn't do that to you."

"Buffy, please we all want you back. I want you back. Please come stay with me until you get back on your feet."

"It would only be for a few days, the condo barely has room for two most of the time."

"I sold the condo."

"You what?"

"Yes over 2 years ago. I purchased a home. Its nice and quiet near the college which is convenient since I am a professor there now."

"Professor Giles. Wow. I just guess I mean I never thought, wow."

"Buffy are you alright."

"I'm fine. I'm ready let's go get what the kids are going to need from the house and go meet Willow."

"Of course."

When we get to the home, the door has police tape up and has been closed. The coroner removed Riley's body last night. The sight of the inside of the home as I walk in makes me sick to my stomach. It looks like a war happened here. I can see spots on the floor from where blood was shed, some spots look older than others like someone had tried to scrub them out but was unsuccessful. The attacks had been going on for a while, the realization of that takes me back to right after Riley showed back up into all of our lives.

_After that afternoon, Buffy was very quiet. Something seemed off, she kept telling me it was nothing and that just memories of loosing her mom coming again by being around Riley. Anytime I tried to ask how long he was going to be in town for Buffy just shrugged and said that she didn't know. When she was at home, she was a total recluse, no one could get near her. She would lock herself away in her room and only come out when Riley arrived. She made no calls and exiled herself from her friends and even me. _

_That one night of pure bliss that we shared apparently meant nothing to her. I was ready for so much more and now, she is shutting me out. I ache for her. One night I couldn't sleep so I come downstairs to find her sitting on the sofa in the dark. I can tell she wasn't expecting me. _

"_Buffy?"_

"_Giles you scarred me."_

"_It's doubtful anything could scare you. Is there something on your mind, you wish to discuss?"_

"_No I'm fine."_

"_Buffy you know I am here for you if you ever need me, for anything at all. You know that you can talk to me." I say as I pat her arm. I notice her flinch away from me, telling me that there are recent injuries to that area. "Buffy what happened?"_

"_It's nothing, just a nasty vamp, but he is now dust, its no biggie."_

"_Buffy anytime you flinch in pain, it is a big deal to me. Let me take a look at it."_

"_No its fine really, just drop it."_

"_Not until you let me see."_

"_Giles, please don't make me."_

"_Buffy, what is it. What is happening?"_

"_I can't tell you Giles. You have no idea how much that hurts me. I'm going to bed now. Sorry if I woke you."_

"_Buffy please." I grab her upper arm and turn her around to face me. The scream of pain she makes at that touch tells me there is more going on than she is telling me or anyone else about. I don't release her hand as I push her sweater up her arm. I'm sick to my stomach at the sight before me. "Who did this to you."_

"_I told you a nasty vamp."_

"_I don't believe you Buffy."_

"_You have to Giles, for the sake of all involved you have to. Now let me go to bed."_

_I release her and she practically runs to her room crying. I can hear her sobs through the door. I can't believe that someone is hurting her. My guess would be that its Riley, but there is no proof all I have is my gut. Unfortunately that is not evidence enough in a court of law. _

Standing in the living room of Buffy's home I am sick to my stomach. This abuse has been going on for years, it wasn't just tonight it was years of abuse. Tonight was just the night that it finally ended. Now I know what Buffy was hiding all those years ago. My heart breaks that she felt she had to keep this from me.

She is watching me as I look around, I should be helping but I don't know how much of my help she really wants right now.

"You figured it out huh."

"What?"

"Those bruises all those years ago."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Buffy you did nothing wrong. You have nothing to be sorry for." I walk over and take her in my arms and hug her with all of my strength. At least now her nightmare is over and she can go back to being our Buffy and a wonderful mom to her children.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Soon all will be revealed, then you will like me again for not being full of angst and drama.

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Giles helps carry the suitcases to the car, I packed all the twins clothes and toys. I don't have many clothes anymore not like I used to, so those were quickly packed, everything else I am going to have sold or trashed. I don't want them or the memories that they hold. A few photos of the kids and albums from my life before Riley are all thrown into a box and I am now ready to leave this place once and for all.

It feels like a huge rock has been lifted from my back as we drive away. My only concerns now are how my children are going to handle the news of Riley and the move to Sunnydale, where things really do go bump in the night. I have other concerns already, such as if Willow suspects who the father of children is, or if Giles will figure it out before I have the chance to tell him. I can't help but remember what was said in the first place that made me go with Riley and leave everyone I cared about behind.

_Riley's abusive nature towards me needed to stop, last night with Giles was enough for me to decide that it really needs to be over between us. Of course I never would have spent time with Riley if Giles didn't tell me to go in the first place. That's the last time I listen to my watcher. I walk into the coffee shop and see him already waiting for me and he doesn't look to happy about the fact I am late. Covering bruises takes a long time. _

"_What kept you?"_

"_Sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen."_

"_What were you doing?"_

"_Nothing, Willow just wanted to talk and I tried to get away I just had trouble." I pause and look down at the purse I hold in my hand, clutching to it for the strength I need right now. "Riley, we need to talk."_

"_About what?"_

"_I don't want to see you anymore."_

"_That's not going to happen."_

"_It is and it will. I don't want you as part of my life anymore."_

"_You see that's where you are wrong Buffy." I watch as he reaches into his coat and pulls out an envelope. He places it on the table in front of me and I can feel my stomach sink._

"_What's that?"_

"_That is orders for the trust to capture and kill an Anya Jenkins for research since she was a demon. This…" He says as he pulls another envelope from his coat "This contains arrest warrants for Alexander Harris and Willow Rosenburg for impeding in a government operation. And Finally the icing on the cake this envelope contains orders for one Rupert Giles to be removed by INS, on the grounds of an expired VISA."_

"_Why would you do that?"_

"_Because I don't like loosing, and I will always get what I want."_

"_And what is it that you want with me?"_

"_It's easy we are going to married. Tomorrow at City Hall, that way none of your friends can change your mind, then you will never see or speak to any of them ever again."_

"_And if I refuse than what?"_

"_Then every that I just showed you will happen, and you will have no one left to lean on when something goes wrong."_

_I can't stop the tears from falling at this point. The choice between my life and that of my friends. How can I choose. I nod my head and agree to meet him tomorrow morning. I can't warn anyone, I don't want them to try and stop me. As I stand to leave, he gives me a kiss and says he will see me tomorrow. The thought sickens me. _

_I go back to the condo and pack my bag. In my room, I write out 3 letters, one to Xander wishing him and Anya the best of luck in their marriage. One is to Willow thanking her for always being there for me, and the last one is for Giles; telling him how much he means to me and how much I am going to miss him. _

_I cry myself to sleep that night, knowing that I will miss each one of them terribly. Giles more than the rest. What we had, what we could have had will mean more to me than he will ever know. _

_Riley set our appointment for 8 am, so while Giles is in his shower, I leave quietly. I place the letters next to the pot of tea that I made for him and grab my bag and go. Seeing him and having him tell me good luck or good bye would hurt me too much. I don't want good bye and I sure as hell don't want good luck to a forced marriage. The man I want is upstairs showering. _

_Riley is waiting outside City Hall as I walk up with my bag. He takes it and puts it in his car then we walk inside. He already did the license and everything all I had to do was sign my name. I hear the vows don't really care what is being said I just want this nightmare to end. I mumble and I do or was it I will, I don't remember now. And all I can think about as we get in his car and we drive out of Sunnydale is that I am now a prisoner in my own life. _

Those memories haunt me as we pull up into the motel parking lot where Willow and Tara are staying with Alex and Emma. I hold my breath as I get out of the car. No is where we venture into unsung territory. For the first time in a long time, no one is telling me what to do, or watching over my shoulder when ever I do something.

I start crying hysterically because for the first time in years I am free, free to be myself, free to do as I choose, free to talk to my friends. I fall to the ground because I am crying so hard the next thing I know Giles has picked me up and I am sitting on his lap in the passenger seat of his car. He just holds me while I cry for all the time I wish I could have had with my friends and was denied. He forgives me, and for that I love him.

A/N: Now you know why Buffy went with Riley. Now get the reaction to that day from Giles POV. Reviews= faster typing.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So do you all hate me for being so angst yet or what?

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

As soon as we got to the hotel, Buffy lost it. I just watched as she started crying and then she couldn't stop her tears became stronger and stronger and her sobs more frequent. I have only seen her like this one other time in my life and that was the day that Joyce and Dawn died. I pick her up from the ground and just hold her in my arms, trying to soothe her as best as I can. I have no idea what she went through these past years, but I can tell it wasn't very pleasant.

My heart breaks for her. If it weren't for the fact that Riley is already dead, he would face my wrath. Ripper would like to spend some time with him, teaching him how if feels to treat a lady the way he has. Finally she stops crying and she looks up at me.

"Thank you."

"Of course." I say with a shy smile, I know that right now she can use every ounce of support that I and everyone else for that matter can give to her. "Better?"

"Much, you have no idea how good that felt." She says as she wipes the tears from her face. One day I hope she can tell us what happened. Until then I hope she feels safe in the knowledge that we are all here to help her. "Thank you again." I hear her say right before she leans in and kisses my cheek. How I have missed that, perhaps in time we can go back to what we once had before Riley Finn, entered our lives.

Willow and Tara have come out to see if they can help us, but there isn't anything that needs help, we are going to load everyone up and head back to Sunnydale tonight. When we walk into the room, I see two children watching television. They have sandy blond hair and from where I stand seem engrossed in what they are watching. I'm so happy seeing what Buffy has that she never thought she would. My heart sings with joy and I remember the letter that she gave to me the day she married Riley.

_I found the letter sealed next to a fresh pot of tea. I expected Buffy to be waiting when I came down, but alas she was not. Instead I find the tea and 3 letters, one for Xander one for Willow and one for me. I take mine and open it the words don't quite sink in until the second time around._

_Dear Giles,_

_I'm sorry that I have to tell you this way, but I'm get married to Riley, today. I know this is sudden and not planned. After we are married at City Hall we are leaving Sunnydale. I don't want to leave, but I have to go. I won't be able to contact you or anyone at all. _

_I want you to know that this has nothing to do with us, or what happened. You have no idea how much I want to go back in time right now. I wanted so much for us, but that is not possible. You have always been there for me, so I don't want you to feel like I'm running away, because I'm not. I'm doing what is best for everyone. Trust me when I say that. _

_I love you more than words can say, I don't know if you feel the same way or if you still carry a father's love for me. I will think of you everyday, I know it. I am asking for you to forgive me. _

_I hope to be able to see you all of you again. Right now I'm not sure, its very doubtful. I wish that I could tell you everything, but I can't. Please don't be mad at me. Again I shall miss you terribly. I love you Rupert Giles._

_Love Always,_

_Buffy_

_Most of what Buffy is saying makes no sense at all. She is marrying Riley yet she doesn't regret the times between us. She is doing what is best, somehow I don't believe that at all. I toss the letter on the table as I run up the stairs and grab my shoes as well as my wallet and keys. The new car should get to me City Hall fairly quickly. I don't bother calling Willow or Xander, I doubt very much that they will be able to help in this matter. Outside of City Hall I can see her standing there waiting for him. Once there he wastes no time taking her bag from her and placing it in the car, then practically running her inside the building._

_I park as fast as I can, apparently however I am not fast enough. By the time I got across the park and was able to see City Hall I see them walking out; the gold wedding band reflecting from her finger has she shields her face from the sun overhead. They are married, and I was to late stop them. I watch as he places her in the car, then circles it to get in himself. As Riley drives them away my heart sinks. I love her and she's now married to someone else. _

_I walked back to the condo, forgetting my car, I needed to walk and think about everything that Buffy had said, everything she has done over the past few days. The bruises the sudden marriage. Something is wrong and I hope to figure it out. Back at the condo, I see the letter sitting on the table where I threw it in my haste to leave. I pick it up and read it again, and again and again. The last few lines always get to me as I read them one last time before I put the letter away, this time I can't help but read them aloud to my self._

_I love you more than words can say, I don't know if you feel the same way or if you still carry a father's love for me. I will think of you everyday, I know it. I am asking for you to forgive me. _

_I hope to be able to see you all of you again. Right now I'm not sure, its very doubtful. I wish that I could tell you everything, but I can't. Please don't be mad at me. Again I shall miss you terribly. I love you Rupert Giles._

_Love Always,_

_Buffy_

_I pick up the bottle of scotch and proceed to drink from it. No need for a glass today my heart hurts to much to care right now. I sit down on the couch and proceed to drink myself into a stupor. I feel asleep on the couch and that was where Willow found me the next morning. _

"Giles, Giles."

"Oh yes Willow?"

"The cars are packed, we are ready when you are."

"Of course. Where is Buffy?"

"She's getting Alex and Emma, here they come now."

I turn to see Buffy walking towards me each hand holding on to that of one of her children's. In the sun its hard to get a good look at them, and its not until they are all standing right in front of me that I see two pairs of green eyes starring back at me. And at this moment I can only think of one thing, Riley has blue eyes, the same as Buffy.

A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews, you all make me want to keep writing.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: What would you do without my drama? Thanks for all the positive reviews, they make me want to write all day long.

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Giles has been quiet since we got in the car to go back to Sunnydale. I know that he was smiling, was pretty sure of it, then he saw the twins. He must have seen their green eyes. Giles has always had a pretty good memory and knows that Riley's eyes were blue. He hasn't asked any questions, perhaps waiting until we get back to Sunnydale to do so. The kids are in the back seat asleep, last night and this morning was a bit much for them, so I am glad that they are napping.

I see the sign for Sunnydale, home. At least it used to be, since I left to marry Riley, it hasn't been my home. Mom and Dawn are buried here and Giles resides here with Willow and Xander but Sunnydale has not been my home for 6 years. Everyday I wanted to come back here and now that I finally am back, I'm not sure what to expect. I notice that we are driving towards the side of town where the mansion Angel stayed in. There are some nice homes over here. It doesn't dawn on me that we are heading towards Giles new home, until we pull up into the drive.

"This is your new home?"

"Yes."

"Its lovely."

"Thank you." He walks to the back of the car and starts taking luggage out, while Willow and Tara help me with the twins. They are still sleeping when we pull up so we move them as gently as we can without waking them.

Giles unlocks the door then leads me up the stairs and down the hall with Alex for him to sleep in the guest room. I'm surprised to see it already made up, but perhaps Willow and Tara had something to do with that. Willow is behind me with Emma and we both put them down on the bed to finish their naps.

Out in the hall, Willow and Tara excuse themselves and tell me that they will see me later. I watch as they walk down the back set of steps to the kitchen and I go towards the front set, which leads me to the main room, which is where Giles is. I find him in his study, he's leaning against the mantel resting his head across his arm for support and his glasses in his hand. He is deep in thought, I don't want to disturb him so I turn to go.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"How old are the children."

"They are 5 and a half. Growing so fast, it seems like yesterday they were just babies."

"I see, well let me know if there is anything that you need."

"I wanted to thank you actually. For today and everything, allowing us to stay here. You have no idea what that means to me, and how much I have missed all of you."

"Why did you leave? Was it because you were expecting?"

"No, I didn't know I was pregnant until after I left. Riley had information, and the ability to cause me so much pain as well as all of you. I had to leave. I didn't want to. The letter I wrote to you said so."

"I know exactly what the letter said. I must have read it everyday since you left. I can practically recite the whole thing. Parts of it confuse me, but I really want to know did you mean it."

"Mean what?"

"Mean what you said in the letter."

"I meant every word."

"Then why…?"

"Giles, please don't ask me."

"I deserve to know."

"Giles, it was horrible. You have no idea what that life was like for me. I was living a prison sentence, everyday I wanted to die, but wouldn't allow myself for the sake of my children. I wanted it to end from day one. And everyday I would think of you and this place and smile, cause this was my home."

_The car ride from Sunnydale to Medesto was long, it seemed to go on forever. I just looked at the window the whole time, silent tears running down my face. I know that Giles came to City Hall, I saw him. I didn't think he would, but I was so happy he did. I was hoping he would be in time to stop us, but that was wishful thinking on my part. Even if he had been in time to stop us, I still would have had to marry Riley in order to protect the last of my family I had left. That's what they are is my family._

_We pull up to a house, I don't recognize it, and I can tell I 'm not going to like it very much. Apparently Riley has been living here, devising his plan to get me away from Sunnydale. It's a medium size house, smaller than my mom's home in Sunnydale, but still a nice size house. There is a feeling here that I just don't like, but I shrug it off, after all this is now my home. _

_Already I miss my home with Giles, sharing the loft. Trying to find a schedule for taking showers and reading and all of that, along with the slaying. Then not having to worry about that, once we started sharing the same bed. I hold back tears, for right now all I want to do is cry because I miss Giles so much, and I want him here with me. _

_Instantly I feel sick to my stomach, I can't take anymore. I rush to the bathroom where I throw up what little of breakfast that I ate this morning. After my stomach has calmed down enough, I walk out of the living room to find Riley waiting. Before I can say anything he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom up stairs. _

_I cried the whole night. Once Riley had fallen asleep I got up and went to the bathroom. I turned the hot water as high as I could stand it without burning my skin. The water running covers the sound of my tears as I sit down on the floor of the tub and cry. I can't believe everything that is happening, when did this become my life. How did I let this happen, when did I allow this to happen. _

_Weeks go by like that until I can barely stand anymore. Riley has enough and takes me into the doctor, forcibly mind you. I would be content to curl up and die at this point if it means never having to see Riley again. There the doctor gives me rather shocking news. I'm pregnant and its twins., hence my stomach always being sick. Riley is over the moon that he is going to be a father. My heart sinks, cause I know who the father is and its not Riley. I can do math inside my head and time does not add up to Riley being the father. _

I'm crying, I don't even know when I started to cry. All I can think about is those first few days and weeks with Riley. How horrible they how much I just wanted to come home, how much I wanted to see my friends and spend time with them, but most of all I just wanted to have Giles hold me.

I don't know how or when, but Giles came over and just held me. He held me as I cried for all the time that we lost, all the time that we could have had. All the firsts the twins had. We lost so much time together. My only hope now is that we can somehow make up for all the lost time.

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Life has been crazy with Hubby's birthday and registering for classes.


	8. Chapter 8

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

A/N: I know some of you don't like the first person for this story and I'm sorry its just how I chose to write it. I promise to go back to third person as soon as this is all finished. Thank you for your kind reviews please keep them coming.

I can't imagine what Buffy has lived through these past years. Seeing the house she shared with Riley and the bruises on her arms, is enough to make me sick. I can't believe that he did that to her. I can't believe that she allowed it to happen all these years. But seeing her children, having met them makes me realize why she allowed it to happen to her instead of to them.

She is still an extraordinary woman, capable of so much if she is allowed to. She says her life was a prison, I can believe it if everything that I saw was any indication. I have her wrapped in my arms and gently rock her back and forth to soothe her. It was the only thing that usually could soother her. She has stopped crying and I pull back a bit to get a good look at her.

She is skinnier than I would like, there are circles under her eyes and she is so pale, almost like she never goes outside. I feel like I could break her if I hold her to tight. She looks up at me and gives me a shy smile and at that moment I can't stop myself. I lean in and kiss her. It's a soft kiss, gentle and kind. My hands are cupping her face pulling her as close to mine as possible for this kiss. I have missed her so much and longed for her every minute of everyday since she has been gone. I move my arms to wrap around her back and waist to pull her flush against me. I'm not sure but I may have just heard her moan.

I feel her arms wrap around me, in the past when she would do that I would be gasping for air, now she doesn't put her strength into. I can tell from that one gesture that she is broken and its going to take everyone's help to mend her. I break the kiss, I have to I know Buffy is not strong enough to, and even though I don't want to I must in order to help Buffy heal properly.

"What?"

"It's nothing."

"Giles, please tell me. I thought we were having a nice moment."

"We were, but Buffy you need to understand."

"Understand what? I know what a kiss is, and I know what its like to kiss you done it before remember?"

"Buffy, you just lost your husband, granted it was not a great marriage, but you are still experiencing that loss. You are vulnerable, and I don't want to see you hurt anymore than you already have been over the past few years. In time we will continue this, but first I want for you to become you again. Enjoy life live in the moment, get some strength back

and when you are ready we can pick up right where we left off."

"I never wanted it to end."

"But it did and we have to get that back somehow."

"He really did ruin my life."

"No Buffy never think that, he just delayed it or side tracked it is all. None of us know why you chose to marry him, but you did and we all respected your choice, we just wish we could have been there. All of us had our own reasons of course."

"If you only knew."

"Why don't you tell me, tell all of us. We deserve to know why you did what you did, but will respect your opinion to keep it to yourself."

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell the others."

"Buffy?"

"No Giles, you have to promise it will kill them if they knew the reason. You would be upset, but I know you will eventually forgive me."

"I promise."

"Riley blackmailed me."

"What?"

"Yeah, that day that he showed up. He told me he had something over us. I kept meeting to find out what, then he hurt me, the next day when I went to end it, he showed me what he had."

"And what did he have."

"An arrest warrant for Willow and Xander for interfering with a government investigation, orders for his little green comandos to capture test and then kill Anya, and the nail in the coffin, orders from INS to deport you and prevent you from returning."

"How?"

"I don't know all I know is that I couldn't loose any of you. I had just lost Dawn and Mom and I couldn't live through that again."

"Buffy."

"No don't look at me like that with such sadness and hurt thinking that it was your fault. You promised me that you would never leave, and as long as you were here I knew that one day it would all work out. I didn't know how or when, but I knew it would."

I can't help but hurt, she stayed in that relationship all these years because he was blackmailing her. He refused to let her leave and have a life of her for fear that she would run away. She knew this, she wanted to protect us all of us. Her remaining family. I hold back the bile that rises in my throat as I think about what Riley did to her. I turn and walk to the other side of the room. I'm not sure why but I picked up a vase from the end table and throw it across the room. Realizing my actions too late, I turn to see Buffy flinch and know that I just brought up so many horrible memories.

A/N: Ok I duck as you all throw things my way. I love the wonderful reviews, please keep them coming, they make me want to write faster, if only I could. Please forgive me, and enjoy this chapter and any other ones I am able to post this week.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I thank you for the kind reviews, please keep them coming.

I flinch when Giles threw the vase, I know he did it because he is angry; and he has every right to be. He's angry at Riley for blackmailing me, me for tolerating it and now as he looks at me I can see he's angry at himself for not doing anything to try and find me and help. It hurts so much to see him in such pain, I see he is concerned about my reaction to him throwing the vase. I drop my hands to the side to let him know its ok and that I understand why he did it.

"I really am sorry Giles, I didn't know what else to do."

"You don't understand, all these years that we could have had you here with us, you weren't. We missed you all so much. I missed you."

"I thought of you everyday, it was kind of hard not to."

"What do you mean?"

I look at him and see confusion in his eyes. By now I figured he would have realized the twins were his and not Riley's. The twins reminded me of him, especially Alex he looked so much like Giles that it was hard not to think of him. I decide to give him more time to think and try to make my way out of the room.

"It's nothing. I'll go check on the twins, they should probably wake up soon."

"I have a few questions before you go, if that's all right."

"Of course."

I sit in the arm chair next to the fireplace, this house is really nice, I can see why Giles likes it so much, makes me wonder why he wanted a house this big in the first place, but I see little traces of him through out it.

"You said the twins are 5 and half?"

"Yes, they are growing so fast, seems like yesterday they were born."

"Were they early?"

"A month, but I was expecting it, so I was prepared for it. They spent about 2 weeks in the NICU before I could take them home."

"When is their Birthday?"

"November 14th."

He takes off his glasses and begins to pace, I know he is trying to figure this out himself and I will allow him to do so, but I will not give him incorrect information. We both know that this is something that he must do for himself.

"You were pregnant when you left Sunnydale?"

I can see that it's a statement more than a question, but I nod my head and let him know that yes I was pregnant, but also tell him that I didn't know until after I had left.

"So Riley is not their father?"

"No he's not."

"I am aren't I."

"Yes." I say once the words are out of my mouth I take in a sharp breath. I watch him carefully as the words sink in. I see a brief hint of a smile. Then I see the shock and anger wash over him as he realizes that he missed so much, and that I kept so much from him by not being able to speak to him or any of my friends here in Sunnydale. His face tenses and then he places his glasses back on his face and storms out of the room and down the hall. I hear him grab keys and the front door close, I want to go after him. I want to tell him how sorry I am.

I don't however, the only thing I do is sit back down and start crying for the life that I lost. I know I will never have it back. H.G Wells time machine would be nice right about now. Cause if I could then I would not have answered the door the day Riley came to Sunnydale.

I must have sat in that chair for hours. I finally realized the sun had set when Alex and Emma come into ask me about dinner. I'm not sure what Giles has in his fridge but I still remember the number to the local pizza parlor and give them a call for a delivery. I make sure to answer the door and don't let anyone in that I don't know for fear of what they may be this is Sunnydale after all.

The kids and I sit in the dinning room and eat our pizza, Giles has not returned yet, and I am starting to get worried. I know he knows how to take care of himself, but he also just had a huge shock and I don't know if he is completely in his right mind. I get the kids in to pajamas and tucked into the bed in the guest room once again. Once I get back downstairs to clean up our mess from dinner, I hear the front door close and breathe a sigh of relief that Giles came back safely.

He walks back to the kitchen where I am, and I can see he's carrying a few bags, and both look heavy. I go and offer to help but by the time I get to him he's already placed them on the table. I start to help him pull items from one of the bags. Inside I find a loaf of bread, some peanut butter and jelly. There is also some of the microwave spaghetti meals to go along with mac and cheese and ice cream. That one I know is for me, its my favorite flavor Ben & Jerry's Death by Chocolate, I haven't had this in ages.

I watch as Giles pulls items from his bag; a baseball and glove, a doll and some stuffed animals. He bought toys for the kids. I smile and hold back my tears as best as I can. He has already begun accepting the children into his life this is his proof.

"What's all this for?"

"Well, I didn't really have much in the way of food for the kids, so I picked up a few things to tide us over until we can get a good shopping in. And I noticed that you didn't bring many of their toys, so I decided that they needed something to play with. it's the least that I could do for them." He pauses as he picks up the baseball to have something in his hands to play with. "They really are mine?"

"Yes, they are. Alex looks so much like you and well they both have your eyes."

"I noticed."

I place my hand on his cheek and force him to look at me. I can see so much hiding behind his glasses. I know him too well, even though I haven't seen him in 6 years, I know him. He his humbled and grateful for this gift I have given him. I give him a soft kiss on the lips, I want more but will take what I can get at this point. I pull back and lean my head against his.

"I really wish I could have told you. I missed you every day."

"And I you. Come lets go sit in the study and you can tell me all about our children."

He takes my hand and leads me down the hall. And I notice that for the first time in 6 years I am not afraid to have someone touch me.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Don't ask, my muse returned, just enjoy the many chapters that I am putting up for you. And please keep the reviews coming.

I drew a fire once we settled in the study. I know Buffy always liked a good fire no matter the weather outside, she always said that there was something calming about it for her. We sit on the sofa, opposite ends which is probably best, but not where I would prefer her to be right now. She didn't flinch when I took her hand to lead her down the hall, but I can tell that the experience is one that she once again become comfortable with.

She tells me everything I want to know, she doesn't keep anything from me. Every horrid detail comes out when it comes up as part of something that occurred during her marriage with Riley. Once she is done reliving it, she pauses and smiles then continues on about the children. Both sound fascinating. I'm sorry I didn't get to be there for them until now. Starting tomorrow that is all going to change. We have decided that we won't tell them I am their father yet. We want them to first become accustomed to the new surroundings and new town first.

Buffy wants to see how everything has changed and wants to also see the new High School. She found it interesting that the Principals office is directly above the Hellmouth, but figured it was appropriate since Snyder was evil and anyone who took that job had to be crazy. She takes a break to go and check on the children, I can't blame her considering everything that she went through. While she is upstairs I go and make us some tea. While at the market I picked up her favorite Lady Grey, and I made my usual Earl Grey, we are quite the pair when you look at us.

When Buffy emerges I can see she is already in pajamas. I can't believe she still has the blue ones with the sheep on them. I still find them adorable and can't help but smile. Looking at her now in this moment, I can start to see bits of the person she used to be. In time I hope that she is completely back to her old self and things can be as the once were.

"Giles?"

"Oh yes Buffy?"

"I was just worried is all, you were starring."

"I just remember one of the first time I saw you in those pajamas."

"Yeah fun times. Things I kind of didn't want to know like you and my mother."

"Now Buffy that was.."

"The band candy I know, but I can say this for sure."

"And what's that?"

"Mom was right, you really are a stevedore."

I blush I can't believe that she just mentioned that. I try to forget about my time with Joyce, especially since I am the father of her grandchildren. That thought tugs at my heart. Joyce never got to meet her grandchildren or see Buffy get married, all the things a mother should experience with her daughter and that never happened.

Living on the Hellmouth certainly has its costs. Not many of them are lucrative, in fact very few are. Buffy has paid more than anyone when it comes down to it. She sent her first love to hell, literally. Her mother and sister died on the same day, and her husband abused her and kept her away from the only family she had left.

We sit and drink our tea in silence and as I watch her content for probably the first time in a long time, a single thought crosses my mind. If Riley Finn were alive I would like be lock him in a room with Ripper for a few minutes. In my mind every bruise he ever gave Buffy, every hit or punch or kick, needs to be done to him ten fold.

I guess starting tomorrow I begin to show Buffy what it feels like to be treated properly by a man. I have big plans in mind, but I also plan to take it slow. Buffy is going to have good days and bad days, and I have to be prepared for the event where she takes on step forward and three steps back. Its my turn to take care of her and to show her how its done right.

A/N: I'm sorry short and sweet, but I will try and get another chapter or two up this weekend before school starts. Please enjoy!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay, got distracted by the first two weeks of school and the kids and well life in general.**

**Summary: For those of you who missed this in the description in Chapter 1, this is an alternate universe fic and purely a what if fic, if you don't like then please don't read.**

**I go to bed for the first time in years without a single problem or worry. I know the kids are tucked in their bed across the hall and that there will be no surprises waiting for me when I wake up in the morning. Giles house is enormous compared to the condo, 4 bedroom, 2 bath, a den, office, huge kitchen, formal and informal living rooms and the basement. Definitely a house meant to have a family. However since he has so much room, that means we can't double up and I have my own room. Not where I would have liked to spend tonight mind you. **

**I lie there and think about how my life got to this point, I think about Mom and how much I miss her and Dawn and what a wonderful person she could have become. I think of all the classmates at Sunnydale High who were not with us after Graduation. I think of Willow and Tara and how in love they are, I wonder if Xander and Anya are just as in love. Most of all I think of Giles and how compassionate he is, how caring, and most of all how much I have missed him, all of them since I left and how wonderful it is to be back home. **

**I can hear Giles walking down the hall and stop as soon as he is outside the door. I can tell that he is hesitant to knock or even open the door, so I make the choice for him and get up to answer it. He' startled when I open the door and I can tell he wasn't expecting it. **

"**Buffy, I'm sorry did I wake you?"**

"**No, I was just lying awake thinking."**

"**Anything you wish to discuss, you know that I am always here for you."**

"**No I'm of the good." I smile as I look up at him. His eyes beaming they almost seem to light up. I bite my lower lip and hold the words back that I want to ask him, but then I eventually give up when I see his smile fall and his eyes show concern. **

"**Giles this may sound silly, but would you lay with me, just for a little while until I fall asleep. Its been so long since I had a bed to myself I'm having a hard time falling asleep."**

"**Of course."**

**I take his hand and lead him across the dark room to the bed, this is where Slayer vision comes in handy otherwise he would have walked straight into something. I get on the bed and crawl across to the other side, he follows suit and lays on his side of the bed, same sides that they were 6 years ago. Its nice to see some things never change, I watch as he kicks of his slippers and lays on top of the comforter. When I realize he's not getting under the blankets, I snuggle up to his side and place my head on his chest. The sound he makes as he sucks in in nervous anticipation is astounding and a welcome sound. I close my eyes as he wraps his arms around my shoulder and holds me close to him. **

**I know in that moment in that tiny gesture that I am home and there is no place that I want to be. **

**A/N: Sorry its so short, but I had to finish it for you. Somewhere I lost my muse for this story and can't seem to find it perhaps it will return for the next story I choose. I may be inclined to do a spinoff or sequel to this one, all depends. Thank you for your continued reading. I look forward to the reviews. **


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